I’ve been a baby, a toddler, a child, a teen…
I’ve been a ‘Christian’, a ‘Hindu’, a ‘Baha’i’, Agnostic…
I’ve been a democrat, a libertarian, a republican…
I’ve been a lot of things because as time goes on, I’ve evolved or changed to foster better synergy for my life.
That box you might want to put me in is too small.
That idea you have of who I should be, for now, might be too tall but aim I will, if it fits.
To me, evolution is change in action. So ask yourself, why you are pressed to want me or anyone around you to stay the same? Perhaps you’re uncomfortable with change yourself so everything around you must stay the same. Change can shake things up, absolutely.
Sadly, I’ve seen families break up or cut someone off because they’re not getting the same version of that person, whether they were unhealthy or not. People closest to us who personally don’t want to evolve or grow, or are simply struggling to do so, can put the expectation on us that we too must stay the same.
So, my question for those who are upset by your change, is why? Why does it irk you that their belief has changed? Why does it irk you that their mindset has shifted? Rather than pondering with one another the causation of such a shift, you blame external forces and others for the change in “your human”. “Your human” doesn’t belong to you, and is free, period.
Free will, what a beautiful and divine thing.
Some take advantage of this by too, taking themselves out of their box and opening their mind. They allow themselves to break the shackles off of antiquated belief systems that no longer serve them, behaviors that bring them pain rather than joy, removing systems of thought that aim to keep them a prisoner of their past instead of the architect of their future. These people I admire!
“Changing your mind shows you’re not afraid to admit that you were wrong or that you’ve learned something new. It’s a sign of intellectual maturity and emotional intelligence. Society needs to create a safe space for people to change their opinions without fear of being called out or demeaned”
Those safe spaces have disappeared for many. We’ve become so feeble a collective, so emotionally driven, we’d rather sever ties completely than do an inventory of our own beliefs to see if perhaps they need some reconstructing. As a free thinker myself, I have the utmost respect for those willing to test the bounds of what they know against what they don’t, philosophers and people who are willing to ponder life’s existence and their hand in that creation or demise; persisting towards an evolution instead of resisting because of comfort.
Yes, we all need and want comfort sometimes and can’t afford for things to change. What about when your comfort has become your demise? You don’t even realize it because you’re so deep in, you fear any change might break your bubble. Perhaps it’s time for you bubble to be popped and for you to remove that crap that no longer serves you and your life, to allow new life to oxygenate you.
Understand, everything might not fit! Be willing to entertain the change, the ideas, without accepting it.
We’re not meant to accept and believe everything, however, trying things on to see if they fit is the mark of intelligence.
“The measure of Intelligence is the ability to change.” – Albert Einstein
I am no one to say what is right for you, just as you are no one to say what is right for me or the next person. We are all products of our every day and our every moment and without living our existence, you can’t fully grasp the complexities of another’s situation. Small minds will sit around and ponder what someone else should do about their life without taking a fine-tooth comb through their own…
Here’s the thing, if people want to see the worst in you, they will. So rather than worry about their disillusioned and warped opinion of you, press on until you can say you are happy with yourself. Perhaps you already are. However, if you don’t like you, what makes you think others will? Self-love is key to overcoming barriers of evolution, with evolution not everything or everyone will fit so you have to be equipped to walk that sometimes but not always, lonely road. Change and evolution isn’t as much about running away from something, as it is about running toward something. Inevitably you don’t get one without the other, but mindset matters. Your “why” is what counts.
Some things might never change, like our skin color, our families of origin or our ethnicity. You know what’s quite peculiar, people these days will change their hairstyle, outfit or profile to feel like they’ve facilitated actual change. In this digital world where the external is often “judged” for who we are, some people will look at themselves in that photo and after doing any one of those things, amongst a myriad of other superficial things will say, behold, I’m new! All the while, it’s a way for them to not get after the deeper shift within them.
I’m all for external superficial change as part of evolution, trust me! Let me be clear, things like your style and such might evolve as you do.
What I can’t do is, when these people are out here judging another person without realizing they themselves know something’s not quite right within themselves. Instead of soul searching they’re externalizing that change into tangible things (hello consumerism!) as a way to find something, anything, that can make them more comfortable with their existence. They might even abuse substances and carry on in a lifestyle bringing them temporary highs, instead of allowing themselves to deal in the present and see what evolution might have for them.
A tidbit about those people:
Envy can be deep and evil so protect those changes you are making and don’t allow that poison to impact you.
For those who’ve got a lot to say about someone’s change, big or small, do me this favor…
Next time you’ve decided that someone’s gone off the deep end, ask yourself why you remain in the shallow. Perhaps the depth is where you too, will evolve.
For you who might be dealing with this, as you heal and grow, trust this as part of the process. If they “hate you” don’t give them an opportunity to flow that hate your way.
For me if someone takes the first negative step, I will show them the exit route, however important their presence may be. Be stronger and firmer for your self-respect. Learn to be alone without embarrassment, it’s better than being with a 100 people who don’t like you.
Remember, some journeys don’t have a final destination, so stop waiting to land and accept that you’re in motion. As someone who has experienced a ton of change, I can tell you right now that it has led me to this moment and without a doubt, all is well. As an evolving woman, I am comfortably a freelance monotheist inspired by my studies as an amateur theologian (my passion for reading never ends), belonging to no particular political affiliation (independent), with a host of other various “titles” that I carry. Shall I choose to carry those titles from today to tomorrow is unbeknownst to me, but as I evolve, so will they.