It has been a while since I have written. For a while, I had writers block. So many things happening, beautiful and fast. All the while, growing into a new role in my life and learning this new identity. On August 12, 2022, I became a wife. It has been a journey with so many lessons along the way, there is so much to catch up on! I don’t know where to start but going to try to cover 2 months. My husband and I chose to have a very lowkey wedding.
We both come from estranged families and have no family in the area other than my son. It was a blessing his daughters were here for our wedding and able to be part of it. There were some hurt feelings in the process though of not only doing this God’s way, but our way. Then again, did God put this on our heart by design? This is something that we read about in the Bible. When I look at a verse like the below, I believe there are no mistakes in how things happen.
Romans 8:28, “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.”
Prior to our wedding, my mother was over involved in my relationships with others but never truly cultivating a relationship with me. While this is an area of my life I have moved on from, I still did not feel any pull to have her attend. Both our fathers have passed on and he is estranged from his mother. Further, we knew that we didn’t want to live in sin and also knew what the meaning of marriage was and in choosing to do that with one another, an elaborate show was just not part of our path and we were just ready to get our life started as, one. I take seriously the below scripture.
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a (ESV) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Having a love/hate relationship with social media and not really being on it anymore other than to have a presence for my church community and friends, I found the last many years of my single and dating life to consist of worldly ideals and desires of what a husband should be and what it meant to be a wife. Then, I began studying the word and tried to not only cultivate an understanding of it, but also live and emulate it. Besides all of that, back to the wedding and the planning of it all.
We opted to get married in a chapel in good ole Hudson, NH. When I first moved to New England in 2009 to be closer to my father, this is where I ended up. Little did I know, the roots that began right in this town would be not only where I married my husband but where I also burried my father in 2014. The cemetery was not too far from this chapel and part of me felt like it was divinely set up this way. Alvirne Memorial Chapel did not disappoint. The history behind it is so romantic, learn more here.!
“The chapel was built in 1908 by Dr. Alfred K. Hills a well known benefactor to the Town of Hudson as a memorial to his wife, Virginia.”
I ran down the aisle to my soon to be husband as my walk was slower than I had planned in accordance with my music (we had no rehearsal). I chose You by Isaac Caree. We winged it because to me, why rehearse something that is going to be natural? It couldn’t have been more perfect. We held our ceremony right after the wedding over a small lunch at a restaurant down the street, which me and my friend decorated the night before. It was a lot of fun being so engaged in everything and putting my own touch and vision on it.
For our ceremony and small reception, we only had a few guests to include my neighbors, our pastor (who officiated) his wife and their kids and my dear friend whom I also met at the church I met my husband. This intimate group was by design and to this day, though I would have loved to have more, I knew that was what God had in store for us that day. Our children were part of the ceremony too. Honestly, the children outnumbered the adults on my wedding day, and I wouldn’t change that for the world! We did hire a photographer, I did my own makeup, picked out a dream wedding dress, had music picked out for the ceremony, got a cake from WholeFoods, did a 1 night honeymoon (God bless having kids), I got to do both of my step-daughters hair the morning of, get my son dressed and be intricately apart of the entire process, which made it all the more special. After the wedding and our reception, we took a road trip up to Jackson, NH for our honeymoon.
This is where it gets even more beautiful. We didn’t have many people part of our wedding for God knows all the reasons, yet it felt like God had sent his Angels down to celebrate with us all along the way the whole day and still to this day, has blessed this union and through strangers and community, they remain with us.
What I am learning is, you don’t just become a wife, you learn to be a wife. It is not just a title, it is an identity, a way of behaving, a way of living, an honor and an opportunity to serve and be the example in this union, to live in communion with a husband in the way God wants us to be with one another. Always learning, challenging each other, offering grace, being forgiving, going through hard times but knowing that with God in the center you can get through most. Though being a wife is new, and this identity is fresh, I wouldn’t change a thing. I hope this encourages anyone that if you stay faithful to what Gods plan is for your life, it will show itself in due time. I did not expect this blessing at all as soon as it came to pass, but I am receiving it with an open heart. The past two months, my husband and I have covered a lot, I have learned a lot. Though I have not written because I have been preoccupied with work, life, community, fun, my son turning 2 and learning this new role, I am excited that there are some new things in store to continue to share here on this blog. I didn’t pressure myself to get anything done on a schedule as much as I wanted to, because I didn’t know if this would continue, and I didn’t feel up for the job. However, God isn’t finished with me yet in sharing my journey.
Until then, I leave you with this which reminded me that it is always His will.
James 4:13-17 (NLT) Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.”
Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
